Sunday, May 28, 2006

It's gonna be my birthday a couple of weeks from now. And i'm thinking this is my last 2 weeks being a teenager. To be honest.. i'm a little freaked-out by the whole growing up thing. maybe because the inevitability of being old and "dying" gives me this despondent feeling that i can never take away from myself. But when i think about the people around me that cares for me, it goes away.. I just tell myself "Hey, you're not alone.." and i would feel better..

Growing up doesn't necessarily means "bad news".. it's just a step.. a recreational area where you can grow up and become a man or a woman you want to be and start having responsibilities of your own. Which sucks and kinda great in a way. cause you can do stuff that you can't do when you're a teenager..

Growing up in the Philippines all my life then suddenly move here in the states was a little bit "shaky" for me.. when i was putting my life all together suddenly i had to start again from the beginning and build myself here all over. i guess the change of environment helped me realize all this predicament in my life.

Sometimes i wish that someone will just hug me and say "Everything is gonna be ok.. "that there's no reason to be afraid in life, that the world will be a better place to live in..

I believe every human being reading this blog somehow can relate to what i'm feeling right now.. it's like the last days of your highschool.. that bittersweet feeling that no one understands but everyone can relate to..

I guess the questions thats been bothering me is,

what will happen in the future??..

What will happen to the world??..

Where would i travel??..

Will i ever get married??..

How many childrens will I have??..

Am I gonna find my "soulmate"??..

I guess all of this questions will be answered eventually..

After all.. Everthing worthwhile takes time...

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and if you feel the way i feel..

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... don't worry...

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"you're not alone"...

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"everything is gonna be ok"...